Holiday-Card Score Sheet

This was in the Real Simple magazine December 2008, written by Laura Sutherland. I thought it was hilarious and wanted to share it!

GAIN POINTS WHEN YOU RECEIVE CARDS FROM:
-dentist, insurance agent, hairdresser, dry cleaner, mailman +0.5 each
-your own mother +0.5
-anothr relative +1
-a friend via e-mail +0.5
-your boss +1
-friend you see at least once a week +1
-above, with reference to an inside joke +3
-long-distance friend, devoid of any personal message +2
-above, with personl message of at least three lines +5
-anyone who includes a hadwritten personal note of more than 5 sentences +5
-long-lost friend who hasn't been heard from in 20 years +10

LOSE POINTS WHEN:
-card and envelope are same piece of paper -1
-signature is imprinted rather than handwritten inside card -2
-photo is of a helpless pet in a holiday costume -3
-your name is spelled incorrectly -4
-highly religious card celebrates faith other than your own -5
-card is the same one you received last year -6
-return address label was provided by charity to which sender may not have actually contributed -7
-family newsletter contains words such as: gallbladder, spleen, and gout -8
-family newsletter is from ex who is (not so) subtly gloating over his recent wedding and cushy new job -10
-long-lost friend who hasn't been heard from in 20 years asks for money or a place to live -20

BONUS POINTS:
-gilded envelope +0.5
-handwritten return address +1
-card in which all family members appear to have signed their own names +2
-newsletter or family photo in card +2
-card with moving parts +3
-extremely clever handmade card +4
-oversized card requiring extra postage +5
-card sent from foreign country +6
-newsletter with humor at progeny's expense +8
-card with check, cash, or gift certificate +20

IF YOU SCORED:
-Negative points -- Did you forget to send out cards last year???
-0-20 points -- Not too shabby. And you still have time...cards will probably trickle in until 2009.
-20 points and above -- Well done! Looks like your mantel boasts cards aplenty. You're a shoo-in for Miss Congeniality.