Homefront update

We're surviving!!!  JM has really stepped it up the last week or so and the house is being run almost as smoothly as if it were me ;-)  The only problem has been when he's at work, but my parents have been a huge help during that time.  My mom is taking Ali almost daily for playtime at the Y and she even spent the night one night when he was gone.  My dad toted me to 3 doctors appointments in one day!  They've been huge lifesavers.  But when JM's home, he really seems to have it under control.  Especially when he's home, we just want people to come over and visit.  Give Ali and I a change of scenery!  We're especially trying to take advantage of the days he is home to get Ali and I out of the house.  Who cares if we have plenty of food in the freezer, let's go out to lunch!   That food's for when we need help anyways, so why waste it on a lunch?!?

My sister- and brother- in-law were great when they were here on Saturday.  Their girls entertained Ali and taught her how to use stickers.  Siri did things like just saw the trash needed to go out and just did it.  Brett noticed my toilet was running (that had been driving me nuts...I used the extent of my knowledge of jiggling the handle which didn't work) and just fixed it.  There wasn't a whole "what can I do" or trying to butt it when I was trying to do things myself. 

Especially with Ali.  It's been almost 2 weeks since I've made her a meal or rocked her before bed or given her a nap or dressed her or even given her a bath.  Since I've been feeling a little better the last couple of days I've tried to do these things myself.  Granted, JM has to bring me Ali and her clothes, but it's giving me an opportunity to dress her.  We had someone come over who tried to do those things claiming they never get to ...but thing is, I'm her mom and I haven't gotten to...and I get dibs.  JM and I just wanted to scream 'let us do this'.  It's frustrating enough to not be able to run your house and care for your daughter when those were your two major jobs.  But then when someone comes in and tries to do the few things you can, or keeps trying to do things that don't necessarily need to be done, it makes it so much more frustrating.  It makes me feel like people are noticing the house isn't perfectly clean.  And it makes me feel like I'm falling behind and really stresses me out.  If we're ok with how the house is, then let us live in our own little fantasy world!

I can tell Ali's bored at home.  Her and I weren't social butterflies, but we did run errands and have playdates.  Righrt now the Y is a saving grace for her.  Someone offered to stay at our house the other day with her and I had to laugh.  Poor thing needs out of the house as badly as I do! 

She was having an issue in the tub.  All of the sudden she wouldn't sit in it and would scream if you tried.  We were only letting my mom or JM try to bathe her because of it.  Not the time to introduce someone she's not comfortable with.  So tonight we tried a few variations.  We did bathtime about an hour earlier, thinking maybe she's just been too tired.  Also, I started it.  I got the water running and sat by the tub.  She loves playing in the water so she came right in.  I let her play leaning over the tub until she wanted to get in.  Then I let her stand in the tub until she sat down herself.  By the end, it was like old times.  So it was either we were doing it too late and she was tired, or I'm usually the only one to give her a bath.  It might have just been too many changes at once for her.  She's been such a good sport and so accomodating with everything else, she's allowed a few breakdowns!

I haven't been able to fall asleep until about 2 every morning so I'm going to hit the hay.  I think it's a combination of not being able to get comfortable and the addition of the iPhone.  JM will be home all night so it's going to be a Unisom kind of night!

Clutter attack!

My life was fairly organized when I was single.  Then I added JM into the mix and clutter began to creep in.  He is quite the pack rat.  He is also afraid to throw anything away that may at some point be important to me.  That part is my fault...a few fits after throwing away my Bath and Body Works coupons and I create a monster.  The clutter was starting to make it's way into my life but then we moved into the house and had lots of room and doors to shut when the clutter was too much.

Then Ali came and everything was turned upside down.  Anything I try to organize is 'unorganized' the minute I turn to the next project and she tries to imitate Mommy.  But I thought I was starting to get the hang of it until...

I went crash in a Walmart parking lot.  Now I sit here all day and watch as the clutter piles up and threatens to overtake my existence.  I had my house where at least I knew where things were.  JM and my family, for the most part, know where I keep stuff or why I do the quirky things I do.  Other people, who think they're helping, are putting things whereever they think make sense and totally unraveling all the routines and procedures I have in place.  Also, I never realized I'm the only one who gets and goes through the mail.  I keep reminding JM to get the mail and then I discovered our mail basket (it's been a few days since I've been in the kitchen) is overflowing onto the counter (which now means clutter on the counter!!!) and my OCD gets kicked into overdrive.  I'm not blaming JM.  By far, I know I'm the one who's made him afraid to throw out anything. 

I'm also ordering more online at this time.  I might not be able to drive, but my fingers can still type in http://www.6pm.com/ or http://www.amazon.com/!  A few months ago I started boxing up all of Ali's old clothes and such (thinking we'd have a break in between kiddos).  I was keeping every single box that came through our house so JM was under strict instructions not to throw away boxes.  God love him, he is still so scared straight that as I'm sitting here now on my couch, there are 7 boxes in my view.  Yep.  7 big old cardboard shipping boxes.  Either empty or filled with the clutter from the dining room table that was thrown in before Thanksgiving dinner.

So I decided today I'm going to start my attack.  My first order of business was to go through the insane amount of mail.  I actually filled our indoor recycling bin.  It was absolutely ridiculous.  Catalogs and ads from stores I've never even heard of, more or less signed up for.  I know Ali hasn't signed up for anything and she's suddenly getting American Girl magazines (which totally freak me out...dolls that look like you?!?). 

I did some research and decided my first order of business is to declutter my mail.  It's easy and I can do it sitting ;-)  I found https://www.catalogchoice.org/.  You put in your address and any names that appear on mail for your residence...even 'current residence'.  Then you can either go through all the companies names or search for ones and it walks you through 'unsubscribing'.  I took all the catalogs I don't want and looked them all up on the website and submitted forms for every single one.  The website even generates a generic email address for you so that you aren't giving out your email address and possibly, accidentally, subscribing to something else.  Then it gives you another little form to copy and insert explaining what you want cancelled.  So easy!  And I'm thinking this time of year is the perfect time to attack because every company and their mother is sending out catalogs for Christmas. 

I haven't decided which decluttering I'm going to attack tomorrow, but I'll let you know.

Bear

Most people know already, but we had to put our dog down on Friday.  He was 10 1/2 and had just reached the end.  We knew it wasn't going to get any better from the point he was at and the arthritis and thyroid pills were no longer helping.  I never wanted to be the selfish owner who kept a dog alive after he couldn't get up or walk or was blind or any of that, so we made the horribly difficult decision and Friday we took him to the vet.  We dropped Ali off with my mom so the poor dog could get a break from her :-)  He had a McDonald's double and a chocolate candy bar and then we took him to the vet.  Things went pretty smoothly, he laid his head in my lap for most of it.  Turns out he had lost over 20 pounds in the last year.  The vet said that was a significant amount for a dog his size so something was obviously going on with him anyways.  At least this got to be before he was bad. 
I took it fairly well the first day, but since then it's been rough.  Even with a toddler, a loud husband and 2 cats, the house is incredibly lonely.  It's turning into a huge mess because I'm having trouble being here.  JM's on a road trip tonight so it's making it even worse.  We've started looking at other dogs.  For one thing, Ali won't stop asking where the dog is.  She loves animals so much and it'd be nice to have one that liked her back.  And then JM and I discussed the only way to get over this is to get another one. 

The outpouring we've received from everyone is just amazing.  Since I can't drink too much right now, a friend offered to bring me a brownie late Friday night.  My family has been incredibly supportive.  The boyfriend I had when I first got Kodi emailed me all the pictures he had of Kodi as a little guy.  That was great because I had lost a lot of them when our hard drive crashed a few years ago.  Everything has helped so much.  Of course we had the one person call and never actually ask about us, but talk about the last dog they put down the whole time.  How some people still manage to make things about them is just beyond me.  But, oh well.  I guess they had good intentions.

It's just amazing that he was such a huge part of my life for over ten years.  He moved with me, when on trips with me, went through major life changes.  He was truly the best companion for me over that decade.  I feel like a whole era of my life is over.