Bear

Most people know already, but we had to put our dog down on Friday.  He was 10 1/2 and had just reached the end.  We knew it wasn't going to get any better from the point he was at and the arthritis and thyroid pills were no longer helping.  I never wanted to be the selfish owner who kept a dog alive after he couldn't get up or walk or was blind or any of that, so we made the horribly difficult decision and Friday we took him to the vet.  We dropped Ali off with my mom so the poor dog could get a break from her :-)  He had a McDonald's double and a chocolate candy bar and then we took him to the vet.  Things went pretty smoothly, he laid his head in my lap for most of it.  Turns out he had lost over 20 pounds in the last year.  The vet said that was a significant amount for a dog his size so something was obviously going on with him anyways.  At least this got to be before he was bad. 
I took it fairly well the first day, but since then it's been rough.  Even with a toddler, a loud husband and 2 cats, the house is incredibly lonely.  It's turning into a huge mess because I'm having trouble being here.  JM's on a road trip tonight so it's making it even worse.  We've started looking at other dogs.  For one thing, Ali won't stop asking where the dog is.  She loves animals so much and it'd be nice to have one that liked her back.  And then JM and I discussed the only way to get over this is to get another one. 

The outpouring we've received from everyone is just amazing.  Since I can't drink too much right now, a friend offered to bring me a brownie late Friday night.  My family has been incredibly supportive.  The boyfriend I had when I first got Kodi emailed me all the pictures he had of Kodi as a little guy.  That was great because I had lost a lot of them when our hard drive crashed a few years ago.  Everything has helped so much.  Of course we had the one person call and never actually ask about us, but talk about the last dog they put down the whole time.  How some people still manage to make things about them is just beyond me.  But, oh well.  I guess they had good intentions.

It's just amazing that he was such a huge part of my life for over ten years.  He moved with me, when on trips with me, went through major life changes.  He was truly the best companion for me over that decade.  I feel like a whole era of my life is over.