Every Moment a Blessing

A week and a half ago JM and I received a very welcome surprise. We've been trying for a baby since the miscarriage and had been so far unsuccessful. I truly didn't think we were pregnant this month. I had no symptoms and no heartburn like I did last time. I had 2 weeks off of work and the day I went back I was expecting to start my cycle. I got kinda bored at work (don't tell my supervisor) and bought a pregnancy test.

To my disbelief, there was a VERY faint line. I had JM come into work and he saw the line, too. We couldn't believe it (and were so apprehensively thrilled) so I took another test and this one was negative. It was only an hour or so after taking the first test, so I don't think I waited long enough. To be on the safe side, I called the doctor and they had me come in for bloodwork as soon as possible, "given my history" (I'm hearing that alot). Sure enough, the bloodwork was positive! To be proactive, the doctor started me on progesterone pills.

The first few days I was thrilled, thrilled, thrilled. Then the worry started setting in. Obviously, I'm still on cloud 9 and grateful we're having another chance, but behind it all there's some worry. Every pain I feel, every time I don't have a symptom. I'm trying so hard to focus on the positive, but some days that's harder than others.

I think this week will be the hardest. At least I hope I'm getting the hardest (emotional) part out of the way! Tomorrow will be the day I started bleeding last time. Then Wednesday will be the day I miscarried. I feel like if I can get past that day, I'll feel more confident. Friday is our first doctor's appointment, and I'm telling myself that if I can just make it to Friday, everything will be perfect. I'll have all my worries disconcerted and know how well the baby is progressing. I'm not sure if we'll be able to do an ultrasound, but they're going to do a full work up so we'll know how it's going.

Yesterday I woke up to some extreme nausea and found excitement in it. I didn't mind at all, in fact, I welcomed it. We're not keeping the news a secret this time, and not waiting to buy things or look at items we'll need. I've decided that I'm going to celebrate every moment I have with this pregnancy. If, God forbid, something is to happen, I want to have enjoyed every moment I had and know that every second I have is truly a blessing we've been given by God.

JM and I have started celebrating every Sunday, which marks a start of a new week in the pregnancy. The last couple of weeks have been with Cupcake Camper's cupcakes and a glass of milk. A prayer is said, thanking God for the past week he's given us and asking him to help us and the baby in the week to come. Then we 'cheers' with our milk glasses and enjoy our cupcake. It's becoming a great weekly celebration for us, and a time to reflect and refocus on what's really important.