Nothing Like Adding a Little Excitement to Your Day...

I've been having pretty intense pain in my left lower back since we found out I'm pregnant. I believed it was a kidney/bladder/etc. infection, but the doctor's office didn't look into it because I wasn't having any other symptoms. They were just attributing it to pregnancy pains and said those things would come and go.

Then the last couple of days I've had very cloudy urine (I know, TMI) and since I was finally off work yesterday I called and told them my symptoms. Since they don't want to give you unnecessary meds while you're pregnant the nurse asked me to come in for a dip stick test. In the meantime, JM came home before class to say hi so he decided to go with me. As I was getting ready, I suddenly noticed a little bleeding. I know it sounds ignorant, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. There wasn't much, but 'given my history', it scared the crap out of me.

I told the nurse about it when I went for the test and she said she thought it probably had to do with my bladder infection (yep, I had one, I wasn't crazy!), but since my doctor was out of town they wanted to be safe so they had me come in for another ultrasound in the afternoon. I love this new office. There was no, "stay on pelvic rest for a day and let us know if it continues", or "that's normal"...they said it was probably fine but let's to an ultrasound just to make sure. Love it! So proactive!!!

JM and I killed some time and then went back for the ultrasound and it was AMAZING! The baby has grown so much!!! These are the pictures from the last ultrasound. You can see the yolk sac is actually bigger than the baby, and you can't make out anything on the baby. The heartbeat is on the bottom of the one on the left and it was 127 bpm and rather small on the chart.

This week was an amazing difference. You can see the head and the profle of the face! (The baby is upside down in the pics and it's head is on the right, if it helps you to see it!) The yolk sac now is tiny and you can see the little leg buds! You can see the heartbeat on the second picture, which is now 178 bpm and off the chart in strength! When she turned the audio on it was actually loud! Then she turned on the infrared and whereas last time it was a little red beating for the heart, this time about half the baby was red with the heart and blood flow! Such a good little baby already :-)

In the end, we're blessed with everything being perfect with the baby. Ladi's measuring 8 weeks and 2 days, almost perfectly with where it should be. They put me on antibiotics for the bladder infection and everything is looking good! Next doctor's appointment is Wednesday at 10:45.

Big day ahead

Well, we survived. Today was the day the miscarriage happened last pregnancy. I called in to work to deal with it my own way. I became increasingly nervous and analyzing every little thing I felt on Wednesday night, and to be honest, I just didn't want to deal with that at work.

Therefore, I stayed home. I would've slept in if a certain cat had not found it necessary to attack my feet at 7 a.m. The brightside was that I was able to go to breakfast with Mom (breakfast out is my absolute favorite) at Bub's Cafe and devour a breakfast bowl thing. Yum.

After the devouring, obviously I had to come home and take a nap! JM returned home from class not long after I woke up and although it was frigid cold, we took advantage of the sun and took Kodi for a long walk together. We then just enjoyed each other's company and chilled on the couch watching episodes of some of our favorite sitcoms.

JM wanted to take care of dinner, so he went out and grabbed Papa John's ($10 for a large pizza up to 7 toppings...how could we not?!?) and we watched "Julie and Julia". It turned out to be a really cute movie, although I didn't like something in the end, which I won't say in case I ruin it for someone.

All in all, pretty good day. I'm about to go to bed because I no longer stay up past 9:30 and I'm tired! Plus, I'm so excited for tomorrow morning. In case you don't remember, it's the first prenatal appointment!!! God was good and helped make what I was scared was going to be a negative day into something beautiful. He gave me faith and hope and confidence to get through it and has helped to show me that our appointment tomorrow is going to be wonderful, and we'll see that our child is nothing less than perfect.

Side note, if this is your first pregnancy, please buy "What to Expect When You're Expecting". During our first pregnancy we bought "You're Pregnancy, Week by Week". "You're Pregnancy..." is a great book. It describes everything in immense detail and discusses anything and everything you would ever need to know. However, as one of my friends put it, after a miscarriage, you lose some of the pregnancy innocence that others are able to enjoy. When I have an abdominal cramp, I look in the index of the book and in "You're Pregnancy...", it discusses miscarriage, ectopic pregnancies, etc. Since it is written by a doctor, it seems to cover all the possibilities. But when you're 6 weeks along and have already had a miscarriage, the last thing you want to read is about ectopic pregnancies. When I looked in the index of "What to Expect..." it took me to a page that discussed how this is very common in the 4-6ish week of pregnancy and to make sure I discuss it with my doctor at my next visit. It even went on to say that if there is bleeding involved or it's severe cramping, this still could be normal but call your doctor today so they know what's going on. It's much more....soothing I guess is the word. The book is telling you that you're symptoms are probably fine but let's call the doctor so THEY KNOW. Not because the symptoms are a bad sign. They put everything in a positive light, kind of like a mom would :-). "Sweetie, that dress looks amazing, but let's have you try on the next bigger size just to make sure the sizing isn't weird in this line...definitely not because you gained weight!"

Off to bed so I can TRY to sleep before our big morning!!!

Every Moment a Blessing

A week and a half ago JM and I received a very welcome surprise. We've been trying for a baby since the miscarriage and had been so far unsuccessful. I truly didn't think we were pregnant this month. I had no symptoms and no heartburn like I did last time. I had 2 weeks off of work and the day I went back I was expecting to start my cycle. I got kinda bored at work (don't tell my supervisor) and bought a pregnancy test.

To my disbelief, there was a VERY faint line. I had JM come into work and he saw the line, too. We couldn't believe it (and were so apprehensively thrilled) so I took another test and this one was negative. It was only an hour or so after taking the first test, so I don't think I waited long enough. To be on the safe side, I called the doctor and they had me come in for bloodwork as soon as possible, "given my history" (I'm hearing that alot). Sure enough, the bloodwork was positive! To be proactive, the doctor started me on progesterone pills.

The first few days I was thrilled, thrilled, thrilled. Then the worry started setting in. Obviously, I'm still on cloud 9 and grateful we're having another chance, but behind it all there's some worry. Every pain I feel, every time I don't have a symptom. I'm trying so hard to focus on the positive, but some days that's harder than others.

I think this week will be the hardest. At least I hope I'm getting the hardest (emotional) part out of the way! Tomorrow will be the day I started bleeding last time. Then Wednesday will be the day I miscarried. I feel like if I can get past that day, I'll feel more confident. Friday is our first doctor's appointment, and I'm telling myself that if I can just make it to Friday, everything will be perfect. I'll have all my worries disconcerted and know how well the baby is progressing. I'm not sure if we'll be able to do an ultrasound, but they're going to do a full work up so we'll know how it's going.

Yesterday I woke up to some extreme nausea and found excitement in it. I didn't mind at all, in fact, I welcomed it. We're not keeping the news a secret this time, and not waiting to buy things or look at items we'll need. I've decided that I'm going to celebrate every moment I have with this pregnancy. If, God forbid, something is to happen, I want to have enjoyed every moment I had and know that every second I have is truly a blessing we've been given by God.

JM and I have started celebrating every Sunday, which marks a start of a new week in the pregnancy. The last couple of weeks have been with Cupcake Camper's cupcakes and a glass of milk. A prayer is said, thanking God for the past week he's given us and asking him to help us and the baby in the week to come. Then we 'cheers' with our milk glasses and enjoy our cupcake. It's becoming a great weekly celebration for us, and a time to reflect and refocus on what's really important.